How Far Do I Have To Drive Until I Stop Missing You?

Sunset In Kruger National Park

South African Sunsets

There are times that I just want to get in my car and drive, because at least when I’m driving I’m not sitting still. I want to occupy my mind with something that isn’t you. Somehow you creep into my head while I’m studying, watching TV, trying to sleep. And it’s not as if you don’t follow me in my thoughts while I’m driving, but at least while I’m driving I get a feeling of getting away. So how far do I have to drive until I stop missing you? When I’m driving through familiar roads and familiar places, I think about what it would be like to show you these streets. I imagine your reactions, your comments, your thoughts. When I’m driving through the unknown I imagine what it would be like to experience new adventures with you and where you would want to explore. You are with me when I’m driving, but at least I’m going somewhere. How far do I have to drive until I stop missing you? How far until I don’t look to the passenger side and don’t smile at an imaginary image of you. How many miles until I no longer feel where your hand would rest on my leg. Sometimes I can’t handle it, and I turn my music up so loud that I can’t even hear my own thoughts. I listen to music I would never admit to liking because it is loud, there are swears and it is negative, all things I keep for only for me and my car. When my frustration is all sung out, I come back to you. Would you have sung with me? Would you like that side of me? There are always questions. Would you like this song I’ve played over and over again imagining I would play it for you? How far do I have to drive until I stop missing you? For me, missing someone when I’m stationary is unbearable. But while I’m driving I can imagine I’m driving to you, if only for a second. When I’m driving I am always switching between driving towards you and driving away from you, all while driving straight ahead. So tell me, how far do I have to drive until I stop missing you? I’ve tried three hours, I’ve tried thirteen hours, and although I find myself in a new place, I have yet to find myself in a better place. One mile I hate you, and the next mile I love you. I want to forget you, I want to be with you, but mostly I just want to forget you. So I drive, trying to forget, but mostly just remembering. I haven’t found a distance far enough to forget you and I’m terrified I never will. So I ask again, how far do I have to drive until I stop missing you? If I’m being honest, probably right to you.

One comment

  1. Matilde says:

    Beautiful……….

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